Thursday, December 19, 2013

17 Ways to Lose Your Mind

Though I know the Union somewhat addressed this topic several weeks ago, I thought I would have some fun and dive a little bit deeper. Ask any modeler and he or she will gladly tell you that one of the most positive aspects of the hobby is its stress-relieving qualities. Its a very solitary hobby, with little human interaction for the most part, so what could possibly go wrong? Well...let me count the ways. Here are 17 different ways to irritate a modeler (complete with GIFy visuals!):

17. When manufacturers don't see it your way:
What? You browsed the upcoming release section for your favorite model making company and saw they were making a kit of a vehicle that is two production models off the variant you were hoping for. No need to cry about it...

"But I wanted the mid-production C variant..."

16. Poor Fit:
Gaps, steps, overhangs, seams, call 'em what you will, but we all know they suck. Are you up for some filling and sanding tonight?

"Ugh, nope..."

15. Rivet Counters:
They frequent online modeling forums. They are outspoken. They are always right. You can combat them by ignoring them, but freaking out is also acceptable...

"How's THIS for accuracy??!!"

14. Individual Track Links:
Do you have ten hours to set aside for this nonsense? On the bright side, they look pretty sweet, don't they? 

"Friul my life..."

13. The Carpet Monster:
Good thing you have a spare, right? 


12. Less Than Helpful Instructions:
No, this piece goes here, that one goes there. No, wait...

"Don't need no stinking instructions!!"

11. Troublesome Decals:
Every one hates decals. Wait, you like decals?? Don't lie to me, bro! Oh, they never silver for you, eh? I suppose they're never too thick either...
Don't talk to me right now.

10. Missing or Damaged Parts:
Shouldn't your kit come with a clear parts sprue?

"How did this even leave the factory?"

9. Waiting for a Package:
Oh, hey, they shipped the missing canopy for your 1/48 A6M Zero! Sweet! Now you get to wait three to four weeks for it to show up. I guess you should try to find something to do in the mean time.

"Blowing pencils is cool...."

8. Skipped a Step in the Instructions:
If you have never mated the fuselage halves one step too soon, you have no idea what I'm talking about...

"Just don't vomit on the carpet..."

7. Lost a Contest:
I know, your model had it all - full AM resin cockpit, PE control surfaces, AM tires, metal gun tubes, new decals, a mirrored display base to reflect the subtle weathering effects on the under-carriage - but you still lost. Take it like a man...

"Did they SEE his over-accentuated panel lines?? GAWD!"

6. Various Interruptions
Conflicting work schedules, vacations, illnesses, visiting in-laws, zombie apocalypse, whatever. These things mean nothing but trouble and ZERO model time!

"Going on vacation ?? Not. Gonna. Happen!!"

5. Failing at a New Technique
You have read about it in every magazine. You've seen it on every online forum. You have watched it on fifty different how-to videos on Youtube. But for Pete's sake, why does every one else seem to know how to successfully apply the dot-filtering technique with incredible results, but me??

"Mention dot-filtering ONE MORE TIME..."
4. You, Butter Fingers
Have you ever snapped off a pitot tube? Perhaps you've neatly placed a giant thumb print in a recently applied coat of paint?

Punish your clumsiness by breaking everything else around you.
3. That Kit...
This is the project that makes you question your devotion to the hobby. Nothing goes right. As a matter of fact, it seems the kit may be alive and tormenting you with unspeakable evil. Its not you, its the kit. Some how, it has unlocked the ninth gate of Hell, releasing a curse upon your workbench which will not rest until it has devoured your very soul. Its a fight to the bitter end...

"I need an old priest, and a young priest!"

2. Airbrush Trouble
Is it too humid out? Maybe your pressure is up too high. Or perhaps its way too low. Try thinning the paint a bit more, but not too much. Then again, it may be too thin already. See if shooting closer to the model helps, if that doesn't work, trying spraying from farther away. Is air actually coming out? Maybe its clogged. You probably just need to clean it better. Oh, you've got air but no paint, eh? What kind of airbrush are you using? Maybe you need a new one.......

1. Moving
Oh boy! Lets pack up all of your hard work that you have tirelessly accumulated through years of sweat, blood, and tears, put it all in a cardboard box and hastily scrawl "Fragile" on top of it with a Sharpie so your best friend who owns the pickup truck we'll be using knows to handle them with extreme care but will be driving way to fast down the freeway because he's trying to make it home in time to catch the football game but really wants to help because he doesn't want to be a jerk so while he is hauling a box of your built models up the stairs he pauses to check the scores on his phone and in doing so loses his grip and you watch in terror as arguably the only box you care about in this entire move plummets to earth like a meteor, landing with a sickening din of cracking plastic and broken seams.
Sound like a plan?

"Nononononononono, no. Mmm mmm."

There you have it. Do you agree with this list? Did I leave something out? Be sure to sound of in the comments below!
Thanks for reading.


  1. One consistent thing I've noticed about Rivet Counters is either their building abilities are far less than yours, or they fail to show any of their work at all.
    Plus why is that one can always find a small part in a relatively short period of time that heads for carpet land but a larger part seem to disappear and takes forever to find?

    1. I've known too many RCs like that...
      And to answer the second question, maybe larger pieces have better aerodynamic qualities?

  2. Jon, these really made me laugh. The only thing that's missing from my point of view is tipping up a bottle of super glue it coming?...I only need a tiny dot...don't squeeze too hard on the bottle...yep, it's coming...slowly does it...DAMMMMMMMMMMMMN IT. Yes, I have glued parts to my fingers on more than one occasion O_o

    Thanks for the giggles

    1. Oh yeah, glue over load. Been there.

  3. Excellent post and good laugh before my 2 week holiday (at home, so actual time for modelling!)
    How about #18 : Why does everybody misspell "Friulmodel"?

    1. Haha, got me there man...I guess it just comes Fruit, for instance...will edit it.

    2. Don't worry. Wasn't targeted at you specifically. It's more often spelled wrong than right and it's Hungarian anyway. They should get both domain names and get more hits :-).
      When it comes to spelling, I'm guilty of being a rivet counter, I guess.

  4. How did i miss this post?? Each new one made me roll off my chair laughing. Again...and again.......and again. Great post and boy you must have been spending hours finding those gifs!

    1. Yeah, it was a bit involved. Part of the joy of being a blogger though eh?

  5. How about this: Drop a part (small or large.) Break out every light, flashlight, searchlight, and desk lamp in the house. Set up perimeter way larger than you think you need. Hammer nails at regular intervals in the perimeter. Use string to create search grid pattern. Perform grid search that the FBI would be proud and envious of. Fail to find part after seventeen-and-a-half hour search. Continue with model. Finish, paint and weather. Place on shelf.
    Day after completion, casually walk by work area and spot the missing part from full standing height, ten feet away.

    1. ha ha,I remember my high school years and the time wall to wall carpeting was installed. Suddenly dropped parts that had no mass at all were travelling far beyond the distances ever experienced before, and made me question all I learned in Physics class.

    2. Ha, the carpet monster is just toying with you