So what does?
Indeed, sometimes the technical issues of a build really don't get along with me. I've had my share of silvering, or poor fit on a kit but really, who hasn't? Most of those issues are easy enough to overcome. My problem is that I am my own worst enemy. I hate myself. Well, that sounds a bit harsh doesn't it? I'm not saying I'm going to harm myself but there are times I feel like I should do myself a favor and go drown myself in a vat of Mr. Surfacer.
When a kit has a problem, like fit, that is one thing we all have to deal with. I can't get that angry at a situation we all know is a distinct possibility. Problems for me arise when I am the reason for the issue. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. My model is sitting on my workbench, about 99% complete, it looks perfect, right? No, no it doesn't, I think to myself. It needs a little extra something. At this point I have something of an "out of body" experience. My better sense of judgement escapes and hovers over the workbench, yelling and screaming at me FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T TOUCH IT! but do I hear it? More than likely not, because the obtuse numpty that has taken over my body doesn't understand the concept known as "leave well enough alone". The devil within me always thinks that a tweak here, and a tweak there will really push it to the next level, meanwhile the angel on my shoulder is banging his head on a wall mumbling "you're going to ruin it" over and over.
He's usually right. It is hard to give a specific example but this usually occurs towards the end of a build, around the weathering or painting component. I'll say, yeah, a couple more streaks here will look outstanding. Or I'll say, hey, how about you try that awesome oil filtering process that you still haven't perfected yet but its obviously going to look great on this model! Yeah!
No. As soon as I make this disastrous attempt is when my better judgement returns as I think DEAR GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE??
[Commence the flipping of table]
Once the shock wares off, the hurtful self deprecation begins. Of course, then the debate about weather I should attempt to fix my error now or wait until the following night. Statistically speaking, these brain farts usually occur at the end of my work night leaving me no time to address the issue immediately. This means, the self loathing goes to bed with me, and I lay there thinking how I could possibly be so stupid. Then the entire next day is spent strategizing the repair attempt. Oh, and more self hate. Until finally I can fix it or if its bad enough, shelf it. Either way...
I hate myself.
I am the worst part of this hobby.
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